Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
