He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize