well most of my day revolves around power hour
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
