I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you never un-have a 4some
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
