Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
