he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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