I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...