I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.