3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME