guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
home. puking in laundry basket.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize