She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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