From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
