Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
