I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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