you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
