I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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