We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
