well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
