I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
