we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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