I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
