Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
