I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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