Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize