I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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