Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
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No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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