Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
