did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
that is very illegal...i love you.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize