i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
