The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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