so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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