remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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