After last night, I could never be a politician.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
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second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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