wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
