somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
