We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
