So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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