there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
