Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
