awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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