oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
