No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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