Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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