i permit you to call me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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