I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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