i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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