I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i think im in europe. pls send help
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