Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The adults are the big ones right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
