I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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