I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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