Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
