You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
