talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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