This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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