I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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