I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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