Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
