why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
