Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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