But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
