Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize