you mean i was at the winter classic?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
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Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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