so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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